1) The other day after a bath, Miss O was hanging out in Little Bean's room while he was getting dressed, and Bean went over to her, squeezed her chest and said, "Look, Miss O, you are growing a chest, just like mom!". I was totally an innocent comment, but I didn't feel comfortable with him feeling free to touch her there.
2) The kids have an obsession with playing house, and often play 'baby and mommy' or 'baby and daddy'. Once, when they were really little (Miss O was still in diapers), I caught Little Bean opening her diaper while playing, and it really weirded me out, so I have always told them not to change each other's "diapers" when playing house. I told them that today, and a few minutes later, I walked in, and Miss O was like, "Mom, Bean showed me his peeper and I didn't like that!". Little Bean immediately followed that with, "I touched Miss O's pee pee spot and she touched my peeper". When I took them aside separately, Miss O said (and showed) me where Little Bean touched her, but said she didn't touch him. Little Bean insisted that she did, but seemed confused when I asked him to explain how the situation played out. So, I'm not really sure what really happened. Sigh...I really didn't know how to react.
I know that:
1) I don't want them to ever feel ashamed of their own bodies or to think that touching any part of their own bodies is shameful or wrong
2) I don't want them thinking it's okay to touch other people's private parts or that it's okay for other people to touch their private parts.
But my problem is that I didn't know what to say to make both of those points clear without making them feel bad. I'm also wondering if I should start bathing them separately or if it's still alright for them to see each other naked. DH doesn't like either of them to see him using the restroom or naked, while I am okay with the restroom and if it's the same gender, being naked. But with each other, we really haven't imposed any privacy, unless they ask for privacy, which they sometimes do.
In the above to instances, I ended up just taking them aside separately and trying to explain how they should not touch other's private parts and how they shouldn't let anyone touch theirs unless it's a trusted adult, and only then if it's for help with the potty. I also said that it isn't wrong for them to touch themselves if they are curious, but they should do it when they are alone. I didn't know how to explain why this is though. I don't know if it was awkward for them or not, or if I said the right things in the end. I know I can't watch them every second and keep up with the rest of my responsibilities in the home, so it's important to me that they can be trusted alone together, so I am hoping I made things clear to them about what is appropriate and what isn't.
What would you do in this situation? And when should they stop bathing together (or is that even related to this)?