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Thursday, December 16, 2010
Help With Rules
Yesterday my husband and I had an appointment with Elijah's Autism therapist to set up a behavior plan. Although we have house rules, we have never set up something explicit, and she suggested making an actual rules chart, and posting it around the house. So I need YOUR help! What rules do you have at home? How do you phrase them (positively, negatively?)? What consequences do you have if a rule is broken? What do you do it a rule is followed (success!)? Do you use pictures along with words? Tell me all about your rules system and how it's implemented! I need your help!
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4 comments:
I've got nothing for you, but would you write up a post with what you decide (and maybe the different advices)?
Oh, from my teaching days, I had always been told to phrase positively. It can be hard though!
We have moved our time out from the front door rug to the dining room. It seems MUCH better for Meghan.
We also spank...
For a while I was using behavior cards. I've been reading a lot recently, and from the Christian perspective, decided that I didn't want to do so much behaviorism, though I thoroughly think that for young children, it is sometimes needed to teach a child self control. We aren't full of self control now, but it has depserately improved. With the improvement, and noticing that it had stopped helping, we stopped it. Oh, TV is a strong incentive at our home.
http://livelearnlove226.blogspot.com/2010/08/behavior-cards-please-work.html
We have three house rules that seem to cover almost everything:
Be Kind
Be Gentle
Be Safe
:)
We have outlined parenting goals to overarch everything - we want to instill:
1. Love for and knowledge of God
2. Love for others
3. Love for self (in a Christian sense)
4. Patience
5. Grateful hearts
6. Appreciation for nature
7. Appreciation for animals
8. Appreciation for body and health
9. Appreciation for financial resources
10. Intellectual curiosity
This guides everything we do with them. In addition we have a spreadsheet (of course!) with all the day to day rules around the house. The objectives above are framed positively so we communicate that is what we WANT from them, but the house rules are by nature right now negative (no hitting, no taking toys, etc.). Each one has a corresponding consequence (minutes of time out or something else). As they get older we will post them. Right now they are too young.
With my high functioning Autistic Daughter it usually helps to have the rules posted in a positive way (ie instead of saying, "No Hitting" say, "Be kind to others". Infractions need to have a direct and immediate response as if there is any delay in the reaction, she doesn't seem to connect the infraction with the consequence. For her the best consequences usually involve removal of some favorite item of hers or a time alone without entertainment. After it is done, I usually follow up by reminding her what action of hers caused this and she can avoid it in the future.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas! Happy New Years! Here’s to a fabulous new year!
I hope you had a lovely Christmas! Happy New Years! Here’s to a fabulous new year!
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