Saturday, January 23, 2010

Confessions

There have been a ton of confession posts on my reader lately. There was even a huge thread on one of my boards where people were confessing some of the "bad mom" things that they do. I have resisted jumping on the train for a couple reasons: 1)I don't like doing something just because that's what other people like, want or expect the "cool" blogging moms to do, and 2) I don't like confessing all the things I don't do well, lol!

I'm going to do one though, because in reading some of the comments people have made on other blogs in response to a confession post, it seems that some readers form this picture in their minds of how "perfect" this person looks or seems, and some commenters I've seen have even said that they've stopped reading a particular blog because they just got depressed thinking they weren't as "good" as the mom whose blog they were reading. I never want my readers to feel or think that I'm perfect, I'm just a normal person like anyone else. Actually I get that comment a lot, even from real-life friends, so I'm not sure if I put of a "perfect" aura or what, but I'm doing this post to reassure you all that I am just a normal mom, like anyone else and by no means perfect. :) Nor do I want people who read my blog to feel intimidated or think that I have it all together. I do my best, but certainly am still learning as each day goes by.

So here are my confessions.

--My kids get up no earlier than 7am and go to bed no later than 7pm. They have had this same schedule since they were infants, and I will hold onto it as long as I can. I really like my sleep in the am, and don't want to see them before the sun is out. And by the time 7pm rolls around, I am READY for them to be in bed. My mom thinks I'm nuts for making my almost 5 year old go to bed before the sun sets!

--My kids fight--A LOT. They are best friends, don't get me wrong, but it's not uncommon at all to hear comments from them like, "You are the meanest boy in the world, I do not like you" or "Give me that toy or I'm not going to talk to you for a week!". That's not even mentioning the constant tattling, name-calling and sometimes-gasp--violence that ensues between them. I hate that they fight, but I am powerless to stop them. No matter how many heart-to-hearts we have, no matter how many time outs or punishments, things just don't change between them.

--I lose my temper with them often. Every night when I pray for them, I have to pray for myself because they do grate on my nerves and often that leads to me saying something to them out of anger or expressing myself with words that aren't meant to teach, but are spoken purely out of frustration.

--If I don't feel like schooling them one day, even if it's just out of sheer laziness, I just don't. Actually, I don't really mind this about myself, but some people may think that I have this perfect schedule with their schooling and may wonder how I keep it all together. My point is, I don't. If I'm not feeling it, I just don't do it.

--I don't constantly play with my kids. Sometimes I DO hop on my computer when they are playing together, and just let them entertain each other. If I'm overly tired, sometimes I just lay down and rest in a half-sleep while they play. They are getting old enough that I can trust them without complete supervision.

--I actually don't cook all that much. I've got cleaning to where I am alright with my schedule (though my house is cluttered--both Little Bean and his dad are terrible pack rats), but I don't like cooking. Usually, I make dinner for the kids, something simple, and then dh and I either fend for ourselves, one of us will cook something super simple, or we will order in. I'll just be honest and say unless I am on some cooking kick, I generally only cook maybe twice a week.

How's that for a confession post?!? Hope you enjoyed it!

7 comments:

Too Many Hats said...

Yep, you sound totally normal to me :) Well, except for the not cooking thing - that would be a nice change of pace here.

Kirsten, Chris, Jacob and Sarah said...

You always look like you are so together because you are always so calm (at least when I see you!). It IS nice to know you can get just as frustrated as me! However, I doubt there is anything you can say though, that will stop me seeing you as a roll model I want to follow, so carry on confessing, it's all good!

Desiree said...

Wow, I could probably write the same confessions, except for the bed time one. Actually that would be a confession, my kids never go to bed on time, lol. I could do several of these posts. Thanks for sharing!

Melissa: Mother to 3 Little Sprouts said...

Yeah sounds about like me- but bed time for me is horrible! I might just jump on this confession band wagon

Beth said...

Have you been peeking in my windows???

I get the you are so calm, perfect etc comments too. Honestly, I don't know why other people think that of me. I am pretty real and if anything probably share too much with people! The only thing I can think of as why people have that impression of me is that they are seeing God working in my life. I try to find Joy in all things, even the hardest of times.

Oh, and we are the exact same sleep schedule with our 2.5 year old and our 5 year old. And we still do quiet time during the day for both of them. And yes, our family thinks we are crazy too...but then again we are the only ones in the family who have kids that sleep 12 hours a night...go figure!

Blessings

Lori said...

We have the same sleep schedule for my kids too (7,4,18 months) They are all in bed at 7. My middle is out as soon as his head hits the pillow. My oldest stays up for a while but is not allowed to get out of bed. She plays with some toys and books that she has with her.
HOWEVER, my middle, wakes up at 5:45am!
Life is never easy when we are home all day with our kids. My older two also pick on each other all day and for some reason we have started a lying phase for my middle. He likes to tell little white lies about the oldest.
Homeschooling has it's own challenge for us as well...my oldest (and only homeschooler) protests every day!
Thanks for being real and honest.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. I have only started reading blogs this past week and I have read some of the confessions. It is probably good I have only started reading so I could read these confessions as I begin reading the blogs.

I don't know what it is, but as a reader, it is easy to just read what is going on, it looks great and you put together the picture that this is all that goes on in the persons life/family. It really does help to read that the children don't always get along and that you don't always do school. Again, I think people only make these assumptions because the part we are reading is the part that looks like the nice, organized life we strive for.

Again, like your post with the surrogacy, thank you for your honesty. This motherhood journey is more difficult than I imagined it would be. It is a huge blessing, but it can be really difficult at times. Thank you for reminding us that it is for everyone.

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