When Miss O was still a tiny baby, my dh and I were attending a couples Bible study and one of the couples shared with our group about their struggles with infertility. They had tried IVF several times, but couldn't get pregnant. We had known this couple for a long while, but because they didn't have kids, we weren't as close as we were to some of the other couples. We were just at different life stages.
I honestly felt they were selfish for being so persistant about the fertility treatments. I thought, "Why don't they JUST adopt!?". I'm ashamed now to think of my judgemental heart, but it came from never having struggled to have kids, from ignorance about the pain of infertility. Obviously there is nothing wrong with adoption at all, BUT it is a personal choice, and who am I to say whether it is right or not for any particular couple?? Thankfully, I kept my terrible thoughts to myself, so at least I didn't hurt them by saying something so awful to their faces. Needless to say, over a period of months, God broke my heart for this couple, and for their situation. I finally came to the conclusion that my fertility was a huge gift, that my kids themselves were a gift beyond comprehension, and if I could help this couple in any way, that I wanted to do that. I did some research on gestational surrogacy and spoke with my husband. Then I offered undergo in-vitro fertilization for the purpose of carrying their genetic child and handing it over upon its' birth; this is called gestational surrogacy.
Long story short, after spending about 9 months talking and preparing, we cycled once and it worked on the first try. I gave birth to their beautiful boy/girl twins in December of 2008, just before I started this blog! They are just over a year now, and a joy to behold! Through this amazing couple, I met yet another couple going through infertility issues, who now also go to our Bible study!
I never thought I'd do another surrogacy, but just 4 months after delivering the twins, I again felt the tug on my heart to work with this new couple. They already had two children from adoption, but desired a large family. Surrogacy was one way that they could do that. We cycled in August of 2009 and it failed. We cycled again in December of 2009 (yes, just last month!), and guess what?!? It worked! I am 8 weeks pregnant with one little baby!
Surrogacy is a huge part of my life, or at least it has been for the last two years. I know it's different, it's not "normal", and not everyone will understand or agree with it. But until you've given yourself a chance to understand and research it, please, don't pass a judgement. Only God can change a human heart, and I was once the one judging my friends, wondering why they didn't "just adopt" (FTR, I don't have ANY problem at all with adoption! Obviously adoption isn't a way that I can help an infertile couple though, is it?).
While I was pregnant with the twins, I got loads of questions, concerns and judgements from others. It was definitely an eye-opening experience for me, and I understand a little more now how alienated a couple can feel when others don't understand their struggle to start or grow a family. I can't thank God enough for opening my eyes to this, for helping me to see these people with a fresh outlook, for allowing me to be of some help to them. I'm not sharing this to give myself a big pat on the back, but because I am pregnant again, and hope and pray for your prayers and support through this next surrogate pregancy, for the continued health of the baby that I am carrying. Also, since it is a big part of my life, especially now, while I'm in the midst of another journey, I just felt it'd be easier to share with all of you what's going on with me! I am more than happy to answer any and all questions that you may have, but will delete any inappropriate comments.
I have never uploaded a video on my blog before, so I hope this works! This is a surrogacy video I made after I delivered the twins. It kind of answers some of the questions people were always asking me about concerning surrogacy. If you want to watch, fyi, there is sound, so feel free to take advantage of that! I hope you enjoy it! FYI, most of the pictures are of the parents holding their babies (don't think I look that great after having just delivered twins, lol. It's their mommy who is so pretty! ;) ). I'm the one with the glasses in a few of the pics. And, yes,you'll notice twin B was in the NICU in some of the pictures. She had complications due to the C-section, but is fine now. Twin A came out healthy as can be!